The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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