Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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