I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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