he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize