i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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