Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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