I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize