he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize