Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize