It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
