For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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