I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
