how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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