I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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