At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
