The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize