My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
my poor anus
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
