im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
