I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
two words...techno handjob
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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