so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
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Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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