great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
