those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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