I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize