just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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