Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
