I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
