Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
