Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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