i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
