Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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