She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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