I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
