im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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