don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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