I'm so fucking centered right now
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
