"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
