i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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