i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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