I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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