absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
