Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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