She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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