Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
