i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
