i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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