there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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