their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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