Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
