Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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