Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
