Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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