If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
