Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
