everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
