I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
