I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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