i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
